 |
| http://www.sikhiwiki.org/index.php/File:BhaiKhaniya.jpg |
Bhai Kanhaiya
Ji is a well-known role model of true compassion from our Sikh history. He served
water to the wounded soldiers at Anandpur regardless
of whether they were fighting on the enemy side (2). When questioned by Guru Gobind Singh Ji, he replied “‘I saw no Mughals or Sikhs in the
battlefield. I only saw the Guru's face in everyone.’ The Guru, pleased with
the reply, blessed him and told his Sikhs that Kanhaiya had understood his
teaching correctly. Guru also give him medicine to be put on the wounds of
fallen soldiers (Sikhs and Enemies).” (2) The Sikhs always fought in defense
(3). The wounded soldiers from the enemy side were brought home and “would be
cared for, given shelter and food and warmth and nursed back to health. Guru Ji
would personally then hand them back their weapons and say ‘Go my son, we shall
see you again on the battle field’” (3). Guru Gobind Singh Ji did not seek
revenge against those who were against him by killing Aurangzeb or Wazir Khan
or even Ganga who lead his children to their death (4). When a beloved sikh of
the Guru, Bhai Mann Singh was killed, the murderer was sent to Guru Ji for
punishment (4). Guru Ji pardoned him and set him free (4), just as Guru Teg
Bahadur forgave Dhir Mal for hiring men to shoot him (4). These are just a few
of the countless examples of forgiveness that were demonstrated by Sikhs in our
history. May they serve as our role models and teachers for who we strive to be,
and what Sikhism means. Guru Amar Das Ji reminds us “‘It is not proper for
saints to take revenge. There is no greater penance than patience, no greater
happiness than contentment, no greater evil than greed, no greater virtue than
mercy and no more potent weapon than forgiveness. Whatever man sows, he shall
reap. If he sows trouble, this shall be his harvest. If a man sows poison, he
cannot expect ambrosia’” (4). Dalip Singh and Amarpreet Singh Munde from the
Sikh Research and Education Center write “Sikh Teachings are for reformation of
the sinners not by force or coercion, but by imparting proper education on the
basis of Equality of all persons, love and freedom. God's Name is Immaculate
and All Wisdom. If the sinners are brought near to God by love and persuasion,
their minds are cleansed from the filth, they will begin to lead a moral life
on their own “(4).
When we are able to forgive another, it is beneficial to ourselves. It releases
the energy of anger, hatred, and negativity that eats away at our own lives.
Having the understanding that we all make mistakes helps in forgiving others.
Guruka Singh says, ““When you hold onto what someone did or said to you, or
even whether it’s real or imagined, you create an interlock with that person’s
psyche. You bind that person to you. When you break the lock and release it,
then if you created the reaction to someone (if you did something bad) then you
have an opportunity to make that right. If someone did it to you they have the
opportunity to make it right, its not your job to hold them to it, it’s their
karm not your karm. You have to deal with your own actions and you have to deal
with your own words. And people who have interacted with you have to deal with
their own actions and their own words. If they lied, if they connived, if they
hurt, that’s their karm” (5).
Ultimately, it is God that we have to answer to
and it says many times in gurbani that Waheguru forgives us: “He gives and
forgives all beings” (p. 106 Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji), “He forgives countless
sins in an instant” (p. 260). If we are honest with God, realize and admit our
mistakes, we will be forgiven (6). Often times however we don’t make it that
far. We don’t want to admit we did wrong, so we deny it, and we don’t take
responsibility for what we did. Sometimes instead of asking what we can do to
help someone get better, we stay silent out of fear of admitting to ourselves
we hurt someone, especially if it was someone we care about. Instead of reconciliation we break relationships we care about. Sister Shivani
says on her show Being Bliss, that someone who has hurt another person can do
three things: apologize, realize what they did (and commit to not doing it
again), and send an energy of love and compassion to the other person (7).
This last point was extremely important. She gave the example of someone not
accepting your apology/refusing to talk to you (7). In response, you feel hurt
and angry at them for not accepting your genuine apology so instead of sending
them love, you are sending them anger (7). I have to admit I’ve done this. I can remember a time my heart-felt apology was not accepted and I got annoyed the other person couldn't let it go. I failed to realize they were
in pain (their words said they were fine but it turns out they weren’t), and
when I realized that, I changed my energy from annoyance/anger to
understanding, love, and compassion because they are just healing. Just doing
this from a distance in your own thoughts makes a difference.
In the end I got
the answers I was looking for. Sikhism teaches us to treat others with
compassion, empathy and forgiveness. At the end of our ardas everyday when we
say “Nanak Naam Chardi Kala, Tere Bhaanay Sarbat Da Bhala” we are praying for
Guru Ji to “bless the whole humanity with happiness,
peace, and love for all" (8).
“The
true mark of maturity is when somebody hurts you and you try to understand
their situation instead of trying to hurt them back”–Unknown.
References
1 http://answers.sikhnet.com/question/9923/how-do-i-forgive-others/
No comments:
Post a Comment