Monday, July 27, 2020

Longing for Home

I haven't written poetry in quite a long time, but the words just flowed so I'm posting it. Gurbani teaches us that poetry is a beautiful medium for expression. 

The Longing for Home 
I woke up in the morning 
and you weren’t there
I couldn’t find you
disappointed,
I moved along my day

thinking, searching, processing
I looked for you everywhere
in the mirrors
in my clothing
the smell of my breakfast
I looked for you at work
in other people’s eyes

I asked others
questioning, wondering 
no one knew
where you are, why you seem so distant now
it wasn’t always this way
I long for you because you were home

went for a walk to search outside
maybe you are to be found here
in the forest, living in the trees
but you weren’t anywhere to be found

I searched in the Gurdwara
I hoped and wished
I prayed that you would come back to me
I would come back to you

I even looked inside
who am I, what have I done, what qualities do I have
let me address my wrong ways
my mistakes and faults
still I seem to move even further away
no matter how much I try

time has passed this way 
day after day searching in my mind
as to where you are and why I haven’t found you
…the odd time I think I’ve found you
but at last I arrive and I’m never quite there
constantly running

tired. exhausted. impatient.
forever in the cycle of waiting
the longing day and night 
tears streaming
everything is a reminder of you
everywhere is a reminder of you
like an obsessional wish that 
tomorrow
will be different
tomorrow 
will bring you to me
I cannot give up or turn back
no matter how much it hurts
I desire you more
this separation is too long 
each day this body is dying away
ticking on the clock of life 
waiting to live when we are reunited

suddenly a member of the sangat spoke the Guru’s words
Jab Hum Hote Tab Tu Nahin, Ab Tuhi Main Nahi
the blindness of my ignorance was unveiled
by the Guru’s grace
I was looking for you like another person
with my ego
with my might and power and thoughts
but there is just You 
“I” cannot ever find you

from the knowledge began the Jap
the devotion, love, dedication
from the Jap began the Anhad Bani
the sounds of Your Naam
the spell of duality was broken
the veil of doubt was lifted

there is just You, You, You
You in the mirror, in the food
in the smells and sounds of the earth
You in the birds, each blade of grass, each leaf
each Mandar, Mosque and Gurdwara
You within, You without, You permeating
Your Hukam
You there all along, forever and ever
Simply Anand

7 comments:

  1. Wow you are multi talented. Rather God has bestowed upon you many talents.

    Gurujis and Bhagats also wrote wisdom in Poetry form. Rumi also. As Guru Nanak dev ji said: Jaise Mein Aave Khasam Ki Bani tasda kri Gian ve Lalo. Bani comes to them they said. Like Tom Campbell and Dr Bruce Lipton say - different Data Streams are available to be downloaded. Rumi says information FLOWS - the minds has to Really quiet to make a contact, In wandering talk we lose it

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    Replies
    1. Yes I agree these talents are all bestowed by Waheguru and flow through us.

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  2. This may help you or someone
    How one hour of slow breathing changed my life
    The author had pneumonia several times. How he healed himself
    Seven books of the Chinese Tao dating back to around 400BC focussed entirely on breathing, how it could kill us or heal us, depending on how we used it. Even earlier, Hindus considered breath and spirit the same thing and described elaborate practices that were meant to balance breathing and preserve both physical and mental health. Then there were the Buddhists, who used breathing not only to lengthen their lives but to reach higher planes of consciousness. Breathing, for all these people, for all these cultures, was powerful medicine.
    https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2020/jul/26/every-breath-you-take-the-lost-art-of-breathing

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    1. Thanks, I'll check it out because I've been trying to work on breathing stuff.

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  3. Drownings of Punjabi male students continues
    This is perhaps the 10th I have read. Latest one in Vancouver area, another in Calgary's Lake Louise
    Drowning death dashes family business dreams, leaves parents in Punjab struggling
    Social Sharing
    'Talented in every field. I called him 'Lucky, Lucky, Lucky.' We are so sad,' says Manpreet Singh's cousin
    https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/british-columbia/manpreet-singh-cultus-lake-death-drowning-july-25-india-punjab-1.5667722
    Calgary’s Sikh community mourns loss of hiker presumed drowned in river north of Lake Louise

    https://calgary.ctvnews.ca/calgary-s-sikh-community-mourns-loss-of-hiker-presumed-drowned-in-river-north-of-lake-louise-1.5042428

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    1. Very sad. I saw this on Punjabi news. I'm thinking of maybe writing a post about safety issues.

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  4. Though I don't agree with Tom Campbell on the idea of FREE WILL( I think Free will is an illusion - humai kri ta tu nahi - Hukam rajai chlna Nanak Likhia nal).
    I weigh what he says against Gurbani - I accept if the same is said in Gurbani.
    In Gurbani, it is said bhag ge se Panch jna(When the body dies, the 5 instincts run away. "You are left to answer your misdeeds"
    Here Tom talks about instincts and other things
    Tom Campbell: Fireside Chat June, 2020 Pt 1
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qS7VYfvAkeM

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