One year ago if
you told me I’d be spending my summer travelling just to go to camp, and
devoted to doing simran and listening to katha, I would have said "no way!" That’s not where I imagined myself to be. I could say I have worked
really really hard in order to get to where I am today. But
really it’s not about what I did. It’s by God’s grace that I am where I am, how
I am- He is the Giver, He is the Doer and I am the medium through which this
work happens.
My life used to
be entirely about maya. I didn’t allow myself to stop to really focus on what I
was doing, my mind would be fragmented into 2 other things I should be doing in
the moment. It reminds me of the story of when Guru Nanak Dev Ji when to the
mosque and didn’t participate in the Namaz because he said no one else there
was really praying; their minds were elsewhere. I felt guilty, but I couldn’t
figure out how to pause my life, and my priorities were elsewhere. Meeting God
was a theoretical that would happen one day, I didn’t know how or when, or even
what it really means. A big factor in me taking out the time to make God a
priority now is that I have a little bit of knowledge which I have used to
remind myself of my purpose. That’s why I am going to be continuing to spend
time sharing my knowledge and experiences on this blog to spread the knowledge. When I was younger I
thought maya was money. Then I thought maya was just kaam, krodh, lob, moh,
hankaar until recently. Now I know maya is so much more than that, including our thoughts and
what is in this physical world. The knowledge of the different qualities of
maya helped me be more aware of how I am using my precious breath in this life.
I remember in one of the early katha lectures on mysimran.info he said
something along the lines of “why not gain the knowledge and then make a
decision on how you want to live your life?” He explained that without having
met God, how could you really make a decision, right now you don’t have a
choice, all you know is maya. That makes me really want to share what I’m
learning with other people so that we can all choose.
I used to really
rely heavily on other people that I trusted to make big life decisions. I
knew they’d give me good advice, but the real reason I went along with it, even
if I disagreed, was that I was too scared to be wrong when the stakes were so
high. I was too scared to be hurt and then also told “I told you so,” and feel
dumb for not having taken the advice of someone who has more experience and
wisdom than me. There came a point I had to make decisions all on my own, and I
had no one else to blame, but I also knew that I was the one that had to live
with my choices and I would regret not having made the choice I wanted,
regardless of outcome. I'm glad I made those choices myself because it's strengthened my ability to choose my path now. If you think about it, we all make decisions every moment- how will I
use my breath? Only you make that decision, and it’s important as I said last
post, to choose sangat wisely as well. Try to be around people who support the
person you want to be. If people are wasting your time, remember it’s you who
has to live with the decision that you stuck around to waste your precious
breath too. Honestly I was nervous and maybe scared to start spending so much
time on simran and gurbani because I was sure I would fail at continuing to do it. Each time I make a post about this I
think, this is all going to fall apart because I won’t be able to keep up with
it and then people are going to be like “well what are you doing with your time
now? you’re trying to tell other people but you didn’t even stick with it
yourself!” Well that’s actually ironically the thought that led me to posting in the first place. To send the message that I’m a person
just like you and I’m scared, just like you might be, that I won’t succeed in this.
Maybe there’s people criticizing your path. I want you to know you're not alone in feeling like that. Even if I fail, other people might get help and at least I would have
tried. Each time we try we get one step closer. I’ve had times in my life I’ve
become more spiritual and then less spiritual. Maya pulls us back- that’s the
game! But each time I come back, I am closer. I'm never at square one, the knowledge I learned is still there. I'm going to use my voice, and the power in that voice, to talk about important issues, and remind other people of their purpose.
Remember, our
mind is never satisfied at the amount of information, we need to do the
practical work of simran (close your eyes. start with pulling your belly button
in as you say Wahe- then pause, push it out and say Guru. Just let the breath
happen how it does). I got a lot out of meeting people who have met God and realizing that they are in bliss and I
could be too. They are people who taste amirt raas and hear shabads and other
things I didn’t know existed before now, and I want to experience that too! So,
I’m encouraging everyone to take out the time to do simran. We are blessed with human life, and let's use it to meet God.
Check out this pdf (short!) book called "The Purpose of Your Life is to Meet God" from mysimran.info: https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/62963343/Book%201%20The%20Purpose%20of%20Your%20Life%20FINAL.pdf
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