Elders

My grandparents have been married for 70 years. Those were the days couple didn’t know each other, they just got married young and would figure out the rest later. Indeed over that many years you get to intricately know your partner. They have been lucky to grow old together. They have had commitment to each other and even after so many years, they are deeply in love. He is very much still a romantic, doing whatever he can for her including doing paath. Their journeys are so deeply interconnected, spiritually, physically and they make each other strong. 

It’s not the things that we consider here in the western world to be important- anniversaries, selfies, gifts, shows of affection…they simply show up for each other and that’s what matters. I learned from them that our partners don’t have to be perfect. In fact, we aren’t perfect so it’s unrealistic to expect another person to be, but letting go of ego matters. Having determination matters. They’ve been through so much more in their lives than I could imagine. I’m trying to imagine the partition in 47, imagine moving to Canada and living out in the middle of nowhere in winter. Neither of their health is what it used to be but their efforts have been mutual to support each other through their hardships. 

I think as a kid this was all taken for granted, grandparents are grandparents right? I am actually realizing in the modern day how special that is, how important it is to recognize how two people can stick it out for 70 years and still be madly in love. How their spiritual journey has been interconnected. How they are committed to each other in their hardships and even though its hard they are able to make it through. Do we really see and appreciate and take in the older generation? Unfortunately they are often out of view of society, which tends to emphasize youth. The older generation had such an important role in the extended family in Punjab, and an important role in the running of the village as well. There was emphasis on the value for that wisdom. I think we've taken over the western view and lost that. What are we doing to support them through covid times? If you are lucky enough to know elders from your community think about how to support them in small ways.