Playing the Game of Life

You might have noticed that I have not been writing much lately. I got so incredibly ill a few weeks ago that I nearly died. My only other similar experience was a sheer random accident less than a year ago that was so out of the blue it was hard to process.

I woke up to the reality that death faces us each day, and that we really must mentally prepare. It is different to know that fact, and different to actually feel it and accept it as a reality. It is different even seeing, observing, having a friend die, than feeling in the deep down pit of your stomach that something is very wrong and the time is coming. Yet are told this every day in Gurbani, and we are taught how to make our preparations. In the many weeks preceding, I knew which direction this illness was headed, and I did as much as I could to wrap up loose ends, tell people I care, and to start strengthening myself spiritually. Finally, I ended up in the very place where I knew I was headed. Due to covid restrictions, no one was allowed to visit me in the hospital. My mind was scared of dying alone, of almost finally almost being done my training only to not have finished, of not having achieved what I came here for. Yet I reminded myself that I could not let that anxious mind overcome, that I couldn’t let my thoughts win, because if there truly was limited time left then I needed to maximize it towards my purpose.

It was not time to be wasted anymore thinking about life, it was time now to just act and to accept that everyone has a limited time and perhaps mine was coming to an end. To do simran and paath in the midst of the noise and the constant insults on one’s sense was an ultimate challenge but somehow happened. Looking back after having gotten better, I can see that that time was given to me as a gift. It was given to awaken me. It was away from all other responsibilities and purposes just for meditation on God’s Name. There were a lot of things that were odd about the month, I was supposed to be physically somewhere else, in a place that had zero resources and I would certainly have died, but I wasn’t. I found the right person at the right time who magically made it all happen, but that is God's grace because it wasn't my time to go yet. I could not be more appreciative for the gift of the breath that I have today, because I will no longer take it for granted. 

Sharpen the Mind

I’ve been going back through Sikh history trying to expand upon my knowledge of how events link together in a chronological order, as I was having trouble figuring out what happened after the Jyoti Jyot of Guru Gobind Singh Ji. I took notes because I am working on a post around history, and also found it solidifies the knowledge learned. Our history is vital for our understanding of who we are, where we are as Sikhs today, and why we are here. 

I was very shocked in much of what I read from our modern-day history, in the post-1947 life of Sikhs in India. It is different when we were trying to fight with kirpans and shashtar in war. The Sikhs were trained and used to these types of wars, even if they were grossly outnumbered, and always prepared. Yet in the modern days of being a minority in a democracy, representing less than 2% of the population of India, the situation on how to win over oppression and injustice has changed its face. The onus seems to always be on the minority group to prove that there are injustices perpetrated. The voices are actively silenced, and a different counter story is told by those who are oppressing the population. It is heart-breaking and devastating that for many Sikhs, rather than listening to the voices of our own, we have believed the story of the oppressor in narrating our modern-day history. When we look through the older history, the Sikhs have remained united in the small and large genocides, “Chotta and Wadda Ghallughara.” They were united in the times of Mir Mannu and Yakaraiya Khan’s rule and the tortures endured. The spirit to fight, to physically give up one’s body was there, because the spirituality was on such a supreme level. The mindset was Chardi Kala and resiliency. When we look at after this last genocide, 34 years ago, and the ongoing disappearances and murders recorded by human rights activists like Khalra, the story is different now. Our mindset is different. Many broken spirits have not been able to heal in the shock and horror of the events. It was not only an organized attack on the unprepared innocents, but they were purposefully disarmed and prevented from gathering to be able to amount any protection for themselves and their families. In a war, two sides prepare and fight, but in a genocide, this is not the case. 

It is difficult for us to believe that injustices or oppression happen in a democracy; in places where there is an army, police force, justice system, elected members of government. As westerners we firmly believe in this system to protect us. Faced with direct evidence in the states with what is happening to Black people, we realize that the system can also perpetrated injustice, even in a democracy. We can start to understand how that would exist in other countries and places too, to other minority groups as well. 

When I was studying human geography in university, one of the things that we learned about was the vital importance of education in being able to move a country out of the third world, and to change the lives of individual families out of poverty. I understood then, in a greater context, why I as a woman had needed to get this education, and why our parents so badly want us to get this education. There is extraordinary work done by historians, journalists, and human rights activists from outside the Sikh community trying to speak the truth. We as Sikhs have a responsibility to educate and stand for ourselves. I commend the efforts of those Sikh youth who are working to educate others about not only history, but also other aspects of Sikhi like how to get Naam. Modern day battles are fought with our mind. Sikhs were saints before they were sant-sapahis. We need to be building ourselves so strong spiritually that no matter what hits us, a pandemic, personal suffering or loss around us, we will not fall. Our role is to protect and help humanity. 

I can say right now that watching through eye witness accounts of atrocities, that I would not have been able to bear any of what some of those Sikhs went through. This is the ongoing narrative of the past, repetitively tortured, attempts to annihilate our population. This is Bhai Mani Singh being cut joint by joint. Can we even imagine? He told the executioner to cut properly, not at the wrist, cut each joint like he was tasked! That level of spiritual elevation, where they were able to separate their mind’s Anand from the body’s suffering, isn’t some far off dream, it is something that we came here tasked to achieve in this human life. We need to be preparing our younger generations for what they face in the world today. It is the age of Kaljug. We need to be emotionally, mentally, and spiritually infusing the spirit. I think that starts with education about your own history, from hearing the stories of your people and learning your history, it is about remembering the past and discussing it with family and friends. Elie Wiesel, holocaust survivor says, “To forget a holocaust is to kill twice.” We must dually be aware of our history and be doing the spiritual work that keeps our minds strong.