Wednesday, September 21, 2016
Art
"My boat is wobbly and unsteady- it is filled with sins. The wind is rising- what if it tips over?" page 878 Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji
Friday, September 16, 2016
Make Sure You're Not "Too Religious"
The other day my
friend was introducing me to one of her friends, an older woman. My friend
explained that I spent the summer focused on spirituality and finding peace. She went on to describe me as, “she’s religious, but not too religious.” She
explained she thinks religious people think they are above everyone else, they
are stuck in traditional lifestyles and old thinking. Therefore, as she put it,
one should not be too religious.
This isn’t the first
time I have heard this. When I came back from Toronto I was dying to share my
experiences of visiting all the gurdwaras and attending simran with people. I
learn a great deal from other people’s stories, and I know mine have the same
power to change lives, spread knowledge and ideas. As people started to ask
about my trip I was reluctant to share though. My journey was not just
“spiritual” but deeply rooted in Sikhism. (This is where having a lack of Sikh
friends becomes a factor!). I knew the desirable trait for someone to have is "spiritual" and not religious. A lot of my friends are atheist and those that identify with a
religion still don’t believe that one should be “too religious.” To them, religion is
strict. It’s the box they strive to be free of. So the comment my friend made
wasn’t just limited to her. If I’m honest, a small part of me three months ago
would have said I’m scared to be so
religious, which is pretty much the same thing. Having spent this time
meeting new sangat, talking with gurmukhs who had met God, and learning more
about Sikhism, I realized that my fear of being so religious was because I didn’t know what it meant to be a true Sikh.
To me being religious
was going to the gurdwara, being amritdhari, doing your prayers. On top of being a caring, honest, hardworking person. But basically your actions and your appearance defined how religious you were. I didn’t understand the whole mind aspect to it.
To me, the people who wore their 5 Ks were the highly religious, despite the
fact they might have been consumed in anger, greed, attachment, lust, pride and
ego. I didn’t understand the rules of the game God has put us in. I had assumed
that these things were indicators of who is religious, and therefore I can
understand why one would be confused and say you do not want to be too religious. Spending time with people
who we perceive as highly religious but are spreading the poison of gossip or
anger would make one not want to be religious! Sikhi is really about making an effort to cleanse the mind. The gurmukhs I had the
pleasure of meeting this summer had put the inward and outward appearances
together- they had met God. So the comments my friend made about really
religious Sikhs thinking they are above others was not accurate. Those that
were truly religious had to let go of ego to meet God, and saw everyone equally.
This is why learning is really important. We
aren’t in this world to be judging other people’s lives (after all I’m full of
sins how can I judge you?) but we can lead by example and we can help remind others about the rules of the game. If we don't know we are players we cannot win. I remind myself that even if I'm sitting in the main hall at the gurdwara but my mind is wandering to other people's clothing or how attractive I find someone, I am not really achieving my purpose of being in the gurdwara. My body may be sitting there but my mind isn't. A
large proportion of people are lost in spiritual darkness, but even this is part of God's game: “This world has
been deluded by doubt. You Yourself, Lord, have led it astray” (p. 72 Sri Guru
Granth Sahib Ji). Gurbani also tells us it can be overcome: “The
spiritual teachers know nothing but the Truth; they obtain true understanding. They are led astray by Him, but they do not
go astray, because they know the True Lord. Within the homes of their
bodies, the five passions are pervading, but
here, the five are well-behaved. O Nanak, without the True Guru, they are
not overcome; through the Naam, the ego is conquered.” (p. 425). The Gurus showed people how to conquer the mind. They got people out of the falsehood of superstitions, rituals,
caste differences, etc. that people are still lost in nowadays, and showed them
Truth (God). We can learn from the Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji and examples in our history, and share our knowledge with
others. In my own family instead of saying "no you're wrong," instead I have started saying "let's read this book together" or "let's listen to this katha." We learn and teach each other. Having learned what it really means to be religious,
I can say that it’s a beautiful thing to be more religious and there’s no such
thing as too religious. I strive for the level of commitment and dedication those gurmukhs have, and the amount of love they have for God and His creation.
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| Internal Struggles |
Monday, September 12, 2016
Forgiveness, Compassion, & Sarbat Da Bhalla
I grew up with a
strong sense of compassion and empathy, and the belief that people are good inside because they are souls/children of God. Sometimes their minds have accumulated durmat mehal and it is
hard to see their true color. Interestingly sometimes I find that people have a
hard time understanding (or believing) compassionate acts. When you are angry
and gossiping they get on board to fuel the negative energy. When you are
instead loving and forgiving of others’ mistakes they are shocked and confused
at how that is possible. In fact this comment on Sikhnet answers says it all
“OMG! forgiving others for little things or for bigger issues that they have
conspired against due to animosity is unheard of in this age of Kaliyug” (1).
I’ve often heard variations of “you’ll see one day, and understand that people
are bad inside.” I’ve heard this so many times now that I’ve started to have a
little doubt in my mind… am I naïve to live my life seeing the good and
treating others with compassion, empathy and forgiveness? I knew the answers
lied in our Sikh history so I did a little research to convince myself.
When we are able to forgive another, it is beneficial to ourselves. It releases
the energy of anger, hatred, and negativity that eats away at our own lives.
Having the understanding that we all make mistakes helps in forgiving others.
Guruka Singh says, ““When you hold onto what someone did or said to you, or
even whether it’s real or imagined, you create an interlock with that person’s
psyche. You bind that person to you. When you break the lock and release it,
then if you created the reaction to someone (if you did something bad) then you
have an opportunity to make that right. If someone did it to you they have the
opportunity to make it right, its not your job to hold them to it, it’s their
karm not your karm. You have to deal with your own actions and you have to deal
with your own words. And people who have interacted with you have to deal with
their own actions and their own words. If they lied, if they connived, if they
hurt, that’s their karm” (5).
References
 |
| http://www.sikhiwiki.org/index.php/File:BhaiKhaniya.jpg |
Bhai Kanhaiya
Ji is a well-known role model of true compassion from our Sikh history. He served
water to the wounded soldiers at Anandpur regardless
of whether they were fighting on the enemy side (2). When questioned by Guru Gobind Singh Ji, he replied “‘I saw no Mughals or Sikhs in the
battlefield. I only saw the Guru's face in everyone.’ The Guru, pleased with
the reply, blessed him and told his Sikhs that Kanhaiya had understood his
teaching correctly. Guru also give him medicine to be put on the wounds of
fallen soldiers (Sikhs and Enemies).” (2) The Sikhs always fought in defense
(3). The wounded soldiers from the enemy side were brought home and “would be
cared for, given shelter and food and warmth and nursed back to health. Guru Ji
would personally then hand them back their weapons and say ‘Go my son, we shall
see you again on the battle field’” (3). Guru Gobind Singh Ji did not seek
revenge against those who were against him by killing Aurangzeb or Wazir Khan
or even Ganga who lead his children to their death (4). When a beloved sikh of
the Guru, Bhai Mann Singh was killed, the murderer was sent to Guru Ji for
punishment (4). Guru Ji pardoned him and set him free (4), just as Guru Teg
Bahadur forgave Dhir Mal for hiring men to shoot him (4). These are just a few
of the countless examples of forgiveness that were demonstrated by Sikhs in our
history. May they serve as our role models and teachers for who we strive to be,
and what Sikhism means. Guru Amar Das Ji reminds us “‘It is not proper for
saints to take revenge. There is no greater penance than patience, no greater
happiness than contentment, no greater evil than greed, no greater virtue than
mercy and no more potent weapon than forgiveness. Whatever man sows, he shall
reap. If he sows trouble, this shall be his harvest. If a man sows poison, he
cannot expect ambrosia’” (4). Dalip Singh and Amarpreet Singh Munde from the
Sikh Research and Education Center write “Sikh Teachings are for reformation of
the sinners not by force or coercion, but by imparting proper education on the
basis of Equality of all persons, love and freedom. God's Name is Immaculate
and All Wisdom. If the sinners are brought near to God by love and persuasion,
their minds are cleansed from the filth, they will begin to lead a moral life
on their own “(4).
When we are able to forgive another, it is beneficial to ourselves. It releases
the energy of anger, hatred, and negativity that eats away at our own lives.
Having the understanding that we all make mistakes helps in forgiving others.
Guruka Singh says, ““When you hold onto what someone did or said to you, or
even whether it’s real or imagined, you create an interlock with that person’s
psyche. You bind that person to you. When you break the lock and release it,
then if you created the reaction to someone (if you did something bad) then you
have an opportunity to make that right. If someone did it to you they have the
opportunity to make it right, its not your job to hold them to it, it’s their
karm not your karm. You have to deal with your own actions and you have to deal
with your own words. And people who have interacted with you have to deal with
their own actions and their own words. If they lied, if they connived, if they
hurt, that’s their karm” (5).
Ultimately, it is God that we have to answer to
and it says many times in gurbani that Waheguru forgives us: “He gives and
forgives all beings” (p. 106 Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji), “He forgives countless
sins in an instant” (p. 260). If we are honest with God, realize and admit our
mistakes, we will be forgiven (6). Often times however we don’t make it that
far. We don’t want to admit we did wrong, so we deny it, and we don’t take
responsibility for what we did. Sometimes instead of asking what we can do to
help someone get better, we stay silent out of fear of admitting to ourselves
we hurt someone, especially if it was someone we care about. Instead of reconciliation we break relationships we care about. Sister Shivani
says on her show Being Bliss, that someone who has hurt another person can do
three things: apologize, realize what they did (and commit to not doing it
again), and send an energy of love and compassion to the other person (7).
This last point was extremely important. She gave the example of someone not
accepting your apology/refusing to talk to you (7). In response, you feel hurt
and angry at them for not accepting your genuine apology so instead of sending
them love, you are sending them anger (7). I have to admit I’ve done this. I can remember a time my heart-felt apology was not accepted and I got annoyed the other person couldn't let it go. I failed to realize they were
in pain (their words said they were fine but it turns out they weren’t), and
when I realized that, I changed my energy from annoyance/anger to
understanding, love, and compassion because they are just healing. Just doing
this from a distance in your own thoughts makes a difference.
In the end I got
the answers I was looking for. Sikhism teaches us to treat others with
compassion, empathy and forgiveness. At the end of our ardas everyday when we
say “Nanak Naam Chardi Kala, Tere Bhaanay Sarbat Da Bhala” we are praying for
Guru Ji to “bless the whole humanity with happiness,
peace, and love for all" (8).
“The
true mark of maturity is when somebody hurts you and you try to understand
their situation instead of trying to hurt them back”–Unknown.
References
1 http://answers.sikhnet.com/question/9923/how-do-i-forgive-others/
Saturday, September 10, 2016
Please Help, God Isn’t Listening to My Prayers
Many of us have
done ardaas and bargained with God, made promises in return for outcomes we
desire, or simply asked for specific things. I started answering questions for
Sikhnet a while back and realized one of the most common things that comes up
is “God isn’t listening to my prayers that ‘X’ desired outcome should happen.” This
question comes at varying stages of the process. It starts with asking what kind of prayer to
do to get something specific, then frustration at the desired outcome not
happening, and loss of faith. I want to share what I’ve learned because I used
to have the same thinking, and it led me to a painful and spiritually dark
place at one point, and I know it's done that for others too.
Personally
having this knowledge has helped me greatly in reminding me to let go of my
desires. I catch myself when I am doing ardaas with false love. Instead of
giving up faith, knowing this builds faith and encourages us to continue to do
simran with love.
Bhul
Chuk Maaf
References:
Mysimran.info
Forgetting the way of Love by Bhai Sewa Singh Tarmala. 2011 (English Translation)
Forgetting the way of Love by Bhai Sewa Singh Tarmala. 2011 (English Translation)
Remember, our goal is to bring the mind home to Dasam Dwar/10th Door
Saturday, September 3, 2016
Crushed Dreams, Letting Go
I
couldn’t help but laugh yesterday when I found out that virtually all the
positions for the career path I wanted have been closed. Pretty much all the
planning I did was a waste. Maybe a year ago I would have been sad and angry,
and totally destroyed. I laughed because it summarizes everything I have
learned over this year about letting go and having faith that things work out
for a reason. You can carefully craft your future and the life you want, you
can dream so much you feel like you can touch the future and sometimes it just
all falls through. And there’s nothing you can do about it.
I’m
one of those people that plans a lot, but I don’t really care to manage the
details. I’m a dreamer and I’m really attached to my dreams. I never realized
that translates to “I like having control.” It’s the control of making the
things you want to happen come true. It’s the attachment of being inflexible
once you’ve decided you want something. Uncertainty bothers me so much that I
can’t sleep with unfinished business. I have to resolve things as soon as
possible and I need to at least have an idea of where things are going. So over
the course of this last year I’ve gotten the opportunity to learn to let go a
little. Obviously it happens in stages, and I still have a bunch of dreams I’m
having a hard time deleting, but I’m getting more flexible!
It’s
hard to describe how I got from goal-based, time-line focused, and scheduled to
learning that sometimes the very best things in life are unplanned. I have met
two people over this last year who have been part of the only handful of people
who have been the deep meaningful relationships that have shaped who I am. They
gave me the chance to challenge my thinking. Although they don't know each other,
they both gave me a space to have meaningful conversations about life. I was
able to put down all my walls and be my true vulnerable self (which was super
scary but extremely valuable). Yet all of this was unplanned. Part of my growth
was the realization that putting life on hold to do one thing at a time just
doesn’t work. My ideal priorities are spirituality, health, family, then work.
But in practice, family and school have competed for the top priority and my
health and spirituality have been on the back burner. I used to think “when I
finish school, I will…” but life just doesn’t work that way! Things happen
simultaneously, you can't spend your life waiting, especially not to fulfill
your purpose of meeting God. The other part of letting go was the realization
that some things in life are worth giving up your plans for. Some things are
worth putting all your eggs in one basket and risking it, even if it doesn’t
work out. In my case, I did do that a couple of times, and it totally didn't
work out, but I don't regret the decision because that's what life's about.
In
the world we are required to do worldly things. We have responsibilities, we
have work to be done. For example, I’m required by my school program to be
planning 1-2 years ahead. I’ve learned from listening to many kathas (from
mysimran.info) that the difference is that you shouldn’t attach yourself to the
outcome. Do the work without obsessing over it. Let go of the ego of what you
are doing and accept that this is about having faith in God and accepting His
will. So in reality, this letting go is really a lesson about having faith and
trusting God. I’m learning to accept that some things are just karma, and what
I have control over is this breath and whether I use it to remember God. The only
thing that will go with you when you die is your soul. Your relationships
should be focused on helping other people meet God so they can be successful in
that too, gurbani tells us this (“Rare are those beings in this world, who
contemplate the Word of the Guru’s Shabad, and remain detached. They save
themselves, and save all their associates and ancestors; fruitful is their
birth and coming into this world ”p 1039 Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji.) I’m
realizing that no matter what if I am walking towards my purpose of meeting
God, nothing is a failure. I'm starting to let go of all other outcomes. I had
thought I wanted to move away for school, and having spent 4 weeks away from
home, I realized that home is what shaped who I am and I'm not sure why I would
want to be going elsewhere. Whatever happens, I will be flexible and accept
that is God’s plan for me, whether that's staying or moving. God will resolve
everything, and it will work out. I know this because I had a huge list of
things that needed to get done yesterday and after I did my simran, it turned
out half the things on the list didn't need to be done. “Kabeer, place your
hopes in the lord; other hopes lead to despair” (p.1369).
One
year ago I listened to Sant Maskeen’s lecture on anxiety. Having listened to it
again, it means a lot more given the context of all of the new spiritual
knowledge. A few things stuck out. He says everyone has pain, and it comes from
the desire of “what I want should happen, and what I don’t want shouldn’t
happen.” The way to rid yourself of this is to remember that God’s Hukam is
above all, to let go of your own desire. Lastly, I really liked his example: If
a room is dark for 50 yrs, you don’t need 50 yrs to bring it light, you need
ONE SECOND to make the dark room light up. Similarly, all we have to do is
remember God, not with just our mouths but with our full concentration and
power. “When you are under the power of sexual desire, anger and worldy
attachment, or a greedy miser in love with your wealth, if you have committed
the four great sins and other mistakes; even if you are a murderous fiend who
has never taken the time to listen to sacred books, hymns and poetry- if you
then come to remember the Supreme Lord God, and contemplate Him even for a
moment, you shall be saved” (p. 70).
Thursday, September 1, 2016
First Parkash Divas Guru Granth Sahib Ji
Today is the 412th anniversary of the first Parkash Diwas of Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji. This is when Guru Arjan Dev Ji installed the Adi Granth at Harmandir Sahib. The following explains a bit of the history and the translation of the first hukamnama, which is on page 783/784 of the Guru Granth Sahib Ji:
"At dawn, the entire sangat marched towards Harimandir. Bhai Buddha carried the Holy Book on his head and Guru Arjun walked behind swinging the whisk over it. Musicians sang shabads. Thus they reached the Harimandir. The Granth Sahib was ceremonially installed in the centre of the inner sanctuary on Bhadon Sudi 1, 1661 sK/September 1, 1604. Bhai Buddha opened it with reverence to obtain from it the divine command, as Guru Arjun stood in attendance behind.
The following hymn was read as God's own announcement for the occasion:
'He Himself hath succoured His saints in their work, He himself hath come to see their task fulfilled. Blessed is the earth, blessed the tank. Blessed is the tank with amrit filled. Amrit overfloweth the tank: He hath had the task completed; Eternal is the Perfect Being, His praises Vedas and Puranas sing. The Creator hath bestowed on me the nine treasures, and all the charisms, No lack do I suffer now. Enjoying His largesse, bliss have I attained, Ever-expanding is the Lord's bounty.'"
picture reference: http://www.sikhiwiki.org/index.php/File:SGGS_pic.jpg
Sunday, August 21, 2016
Endless Love
I
think the opposite of rejection isn’t acceptance, but rather unconditional
love. In many ways we spend our lives putting up defences to avoid being
rejected. The more layers of “protection” we add, the less ability we have to
have meaningful relationships. Say I had ten blankets around me and someone
wants to hug me, they don’t really get to be anywhere near me. Our fear that
people will see us for who we are leads us to hide from the world. Real
relationships are ones in which we are vulnerable and trust people to not
completely destroy us. With it comes the freedom of being accepted despite our
flaws, mistakes and faults.
Even
if we share “this happened and I’m scared,” we have this tendency to want to
pretend everything is magically okay after that. This is part of that same fear
of vulnerability. Maybe we don’t want to admit how much something has affected
us. Maybe we are afraid people will see us as weak, damaged, or pessimistic.
Maybe we are doing it for the convenience of other people who are not able to
process what we were saying. (I’ve learned when people say “handle your
emotions” they are saying please hide them because I didn’t learn to deal with
emotions and its making me uncomfortable.) In the end, real support comes from the people who stick around however long it takes us to improve and don't make us pretend to be better. They love us unconditionally.
I
think ultimately people are scared of the moment we let go of the layers of
protection and someone sees us for who we really are, hurts us and walks away
(or runs in the other direction screaming). If someone doesn’t know us we can
easily say, “well they know a part of me, but they don’t really know who I am" and therefore we avoid feeling rejected. If we show all of our selves and people walk away, its like they are saying we
are not good enough as we are, and we are not worthy of acceptance. This leads some people to never trust again. Others trust again and again, but maybe hurt each time and eventually grow tired of the effort. I think the thing to understand is that we are created as we are, and
we are who we are, if someone doesn’t see that it really isn’t about us. It’s
about their ability to see God in everyone.
So if we can understand how much it affects us to be rejected, we should be able to turn this around and make it a lesson on how to treat other people. We should learn not to judge or criticize others, not to gossip or spread rumours. We need to accept each
person as God, and hate no one. I remember one day my dad was talking about one of his
best friends and how great he is. He goes “you know we used to hate
each other.” I said “WHAT?!” He said “so
I said to him one day, let’s talk. We talked and talked and talked and we didn’t hate
each other anymore... I think people hate each other because they feel threatened.” I think it’s a matter of understanding where people are
coming from, making an effort, getting to know them, and seeing their good
qualities. In the
lectures on mysimran.info, Simar Singh says “no ego, no animosity, no speaking
against others, and don’t care about what others think” and “anytime you see
someone see them and try to treat them as you would speak or act towards God.” So
be your true self. I know it takes courage, and I know it’s actually pretty
hard to let go of what other people think (I haven’t been able to do it yet!). Similarly
accept other people as they are. Love them for who they are, and don’t be angry
if they aren’t in the place to be able to return that love or be appreciative
of it. I know I've experienced frustration when people don't reciprocate the effort you put into overlooking someone's annoying qualities. You spend all that time loving them as they are, and yet they can't do the same for you. But really their lack of reciprocation is
where they are in their journey. You
know where you are in your journey. Everything is God’s creation and to not
accept or love it, is to not love God and to speak against Waheguru. You shouldn’t
feel sorry for compassion, love, and empathy you give people. This is your love for God.
Sidenote: I've been trying to write for a while but i've got insomnia and i'm having trouble concentrating! I'm hoping to write more religious history posts soon because I know people enjoy a mixture of different types of posts. Our youtube kirtan channel is public https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCaJVqGlOz5r_yLZk2KkcenQ so you can just subscribe for
updates there if you'd like. I'm slowly trying to make it so that all the shabads are in both playlists so you can learn all the shabads i know basically. Uploading has been slow because i'm new to youtube plus it takes me a really long time to be able to record how to play the shabads and I have been busy with other things. I kind of just wanted to record the shabads for myself so I wouldn't forget because at this point I think I know close to 100 shabads, and I figured I would share them in case someone else wants to learn. I never really expected anyone to subscribe so it's pretty cool to see people are actually learning from it! (It kind of turned into "Oh I guess people are actually watching it so I better slow down the keys and make them good!")
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