Hair Care

I get comments about my long hair about 3-5 times a day. I’ve found it can be a great way to convince little kids to eat their vegetables! Most of them think I'm Rapunzel. Usually I get asked about how long my hair is when its open (past my knees), how long I’ve grown it (my whole life), and then questions about hair care. I thought I would share some tips from taking care of my own hair for most of my life. Of course if one has concerns about their hair like hair falling out they should see a doctor as sometimes it may be genetics, but other times it may be causes like low levels of iron, thyroid problems, etc. The quality of our hair reflects our general health in many ways. In fact I remember learning we can test hairs for toxins etc. that the person has taken. I personally found my hair was falling out a lot when I started med school from all the stress. It grew back but it sure was hard to see it thinning out and I know what a panic that feels like!

One of the biggest things for me that make brushing my hair manageable is having gotten a soft hair brush. If its wet, I wait until it dries. Then, divide the hair in half on each side. Twist hair all the way up to the bottom. Then, starting at the bottom, start to brush the hair with the soft brush. If you start at the top the tangles just build up and it is painful. Move your way up the hair until you can brush right from the top. I find this deals with any tangles a little bit at a time and makes it manageable. Then I repeat with a regular hairbrush with hard bristles to get the tougher tangles out. I only need to do that once or twice a week because the soft brush is great. If it is your child's hair you are caring for, let them hold it while you take out the tangles because that helps too. Most grocery stores should have them. 

Washing: Yes it takes a lot of shampoo and conditioner to wash long hair, but you don’t need to do it that frequently. I find shampooing just dries out the hair. I get asked a lot which shampoo I use because I think for some people think it helps to grow the hair, when in fact there’s a lot of other factors in one’s general health and genetics. Its nice to use a shampoo that works for you. I used to use Herbal Essences but then when they changed the formula at some point I seemed to get an allergic reaction so I started using Head and Shoulders Almond Oil instead. Find whatever works for you. I tried a really natural shampoo for a while and really liked that too. 

I try to let my hair dry naturally if possible. Blow-drying damages it visibly so I only do it on the cool setting for a couple of minutes if I really need to in the winter. In the summer it usually dries in 2 hrs. Its nice when the wind blows and dries it all in the sunshine. In the winter it can take most of the day to dry, so I find other things to do while it is drying. After it is dry, I put the oil on. I know that in India people are used to oiling their hair prior to washing. I find the shampoo strips the hair of all that anyways and it ends up super dried out... If I didn’t oil my hair it ends up being fuzzy and all over the place. Many different types of oils work. My mom told me people varied the oils in India depending on the season. They would often use mustard oil (saron da tel). Here we might say that has too strong of a scent. They would also use coconut oil. I found that the problem is that in the winter in Canada, coconut oil solidifies in the cold. You end up with hair that is literally frozen when you go outside, so it makes more sense for summer months or warm climates. I use almond oil and just buy it from the grocery store. I think the “tel chasna” – massaging oil into the scalp is a tradition that has gone on for so many generations and is an important part of keeping the hair healthy. It also is a great bonding time between my mum and I as she still does this for me. When I was living alone, I really missed that because it was a great time to chat and it was relaxing as well. Most people are shocked that I don’t have any split ends. I think its just a matter of not constantly drying and frying the hair with hair products and straighteners etc. and massaging in the oil. You have to put extra oil into the ends of the hair. 

Upkeep: I keep my hair in a braid. Its almost always the same everyday unless I have time to do something special with it like different hair designs. I find that keeping it open leaves it to get caught in too many things, although I do occasionally wear it down. People always comment they never get to see it open, but it is messy and I save that for special occasions. I find keeping it in a bun for too long a little tiresome. Women who wear a turban have told me that the scalp gets used to this over time and you adjust. There are some jobs like in the police where you have to keep your hair up too, so keeping it in a keski works for that situation well. For surgeries, I used to put my hair into two braids, and then wrap them around each other to opposite sides, and tie them in the back and put the surgical cap on which worked well. It also is better to wear it up if there are any safety issues with having your hair down or in a braid. I find it is most comfortable to keep it in a braid, so I braid it in the morning and then rebraid it looser at bedtime so I can sleep. 

Occasionally people want to touch my hair, and I let them because they asked or they knew me (please don't touch strangers' hair without their permission). I was at a colleague's house for dinner one day and got his 3 daughters to do my hair and they had lots of fun. They were all very young and learned about being gentle and not tangling up hair ties. Speaking of tangling, my worst hair story is probably getting my hair stuck in a hairbrush when I was in elementary school. I think I was probably about 10 or 11. It was a round brush so I thought I could curl my hair, but it actually got trapped and I couldn't get it untangled. My dad had to individually pull out the bristles of the brush and break it in order to get my hair out. We still have a picture of me trying to smile while my eyes are all red from crying in the panic that my hair wouldn't come out! That leads me to the note of being really careful what you do with your long hair and not getting it all tangled up. I have quite a few funny hair stories actually, including spending my childhood trying to jump over my hair like the monkeys in Jungle Book jump over their tails during the song.  

Since I have been taking care of it forever, my hair doesn’t seem like too much work. I know a lot more people who spend more time and effort styling their hair each day. I got told at one point that I should cut my hair short because I got told it was the cause of my headaches. The healthcare professional I spoke to had no idea about the cultural sensitivity or how upsetting that was. I thought to myself how is it possible to get headaches from my hair if it has been there my whole life. For generations, people have worn their hair in turbans and have much heavier thicker hair than me, what about theirs? So I ignored her advice. Keeping my hair was so important I decided to just live with the headache. In the end it actually turned out she was wrong entirely and it was unrelated to my hair- the headaches resolved. I shared that story because I think as Sikhs we do get told that a lot but it is something to think about whether it is real or not. 

I don’t judge anyone for their choices of keeping their hair or not keeping their hair. I don't think it is right to force our children or anyone else, but it is good to encourage conscious choices and decisions. My parents kept my hair long growing up and then let me decide, and by then it was very much a part of my identity and I never cut it. We all have our own individual journeys and for me I love the long hair on my head. I recently saw a Kaur at our Gurdwara Sahib who wears a colored keski that matches the outfit she wears, she looks absolutely graceful and beautiful. At the same time I know people who have short hair who have the utmost devotion and spirituality. We have discussed in past posts that our Sikhi actually starts from the inside with practicing our thoughts and actions. The Khalsa roop has a very important role as well, but we cannot force that upon anyone. It comes out of love on the path and comes with its own responsibilities. 

I hope my hair care post was helpful in providing some tips for caring for your own hair. I was trying to find a relevant picture of my hair and will update the post when I find a good one!