Letters to My Beloved

When Guru Ram Das Ji was invited to a wedding, he sent his son, the young Arjan Mal in his place. He told Arjan Mal not to return until he was called, and sent him off to Lahore. After the wedding he was to run the proceedings of the dharmsala and guide the local sangat. Much time passed. Arjan Mal longed for his Guru, but he wasn’t called back. He would not go against Guru Ji’s Hukam and thus stayed where he was, waiting for a letter calling him home. He wrote a letter which is now in the shabad Hazare: “Maajh, Fifth Guru, Chau-Padas, First House: My mind longs for the Blessed Vision of the Guru's Darshan. It cries out like the thirsty songbird. My thirst is not quenched, and I can find no peace, without the Blessed Vision of the Beloved Saint. ||1|| I am a sacrifice; my soul is a sacrifice, to the Blessed Vision of the Beloved Saint Guru. (1, Pause)”. This shabad is beautifully sung by the Chardikala jatha here https://www.sikhnet.com/gurbani/audio/mere-man-loche I encourage you to listen to the whole thing, it really pulls at your heart and you can even download it.

Arjan Mal sent this letter with a Sikh to be delivered to Guru Ji, but his letter was intercepted by Prithi Chand. He was afraid Arjan Mal would be made Guru and he wanted to be Guru himself. He told the messenger the next morning that Guru Ji read the letter and wishes for Arjan Mal to stay in Lahore. He then wrote a second letter: “Your Face is so beautiful, and the Sound of Your Words imparts intuitive wisdom. It is so long since this rainbird has had even a glimpse of water. Blessed is that land where You dwell, O my Friend and Intimate Divine Guru. ||2|| I am a sacrifice; I am forever a sacrifice, to my Friend and Intimate Divine Guru. ||1|| Pause.” The same episode repeated, with Prithi Chand intercepting the letter. The Sikh explained to Arjan Mal that he wasn’t sure if the letter had actually reached Guru Ji as he was not allowed to meet with Guru Ji and he was asked to come back. Guru Ji wrote the third letter: “When I could not be with You for just one moment, the Dark Age of Kali Yuga dawned for me. When will I meet You, O my Beloved Almighty? I cannot endure the night, and sleep does not come, without the Sight of the Beloved Guru's Court. ||3|| I am a sacrifice; my soul is a sacrifice, to that True Court of the Beloved Guru. ||1||Pause.” The Sikh was sent this time with specific instructions to give this letter to Guru Ji, and Arjan Mal bowed in remembrance of his Guru. Meanwhile Guru Ji was all knowing and testing his son, by making sure he stayed within Hukam. The messenger sat in the sangat without being seen by Prithi Chand and delivered the letter. In so much pain of separation, Arjan Mal had still obeyed the Hukam. He called Baba Buddha Ji to bring Arjan Mal back. Guru Ji met him and noted that this was the third stanza, where were the other two? Arjan Mal noted that two other letters had been sent, and Guru Ji noted that they had not reached him. Prithi Chand tried to lie but eventually his betrayal was revealed. Arjan Mal was granted the Guruship, and the fourth stanza was written to finish the shabad: "By good fortune, I have met the Saint Guru. I have found the Immortal Almighty within the home of my own self. I will now serve You forever, and I shall never be separated from You, even for an instant. Servant Guru Nanak is Your slave, O Beloved Master. ||4|| I am a sacrifice, my soul is a sacrifice; servant Guru Nanak is Your slave, Almighty.||Pause||1||8.” These letters were such beautiful shabads, shabads of longing for the Guru, of praise, of separation, and of finally meeting and ultimate bliss. They describe an incredible spiritual journey written at the age of 18. Poetry and writing has such deep impact for us.(Reference for Sakhi is Sri Guru Granth Sahib Academy https://sggsacademy.com). 

Letter writing has largely just gone away. No one writes letters anymore in the era of Instagram, tictoc, facetime, zoom, whatsapp, etc. letters seem to be far gone. No one even bothers sending emails asking how you are doing because there’s so many other more instantaneous ways of communication. Our attention spans are short and we like videos and multitasking, perhaps there is no patience for a letter anymore. I received some post-cards from a friend last year and it was so nice to get something physical that you can hold in your hands. I like letters, I like the little stamp, I like the thought and energy that goes into it. Sure it is slower to arrive, but it is also more meaningful than anything else. If someone talks to you, they can easily say “oh I didn’t say that” but a letter is committing everything down to a piece of paper. It is the pouring out of your soul onto a sheet of paper, with your writing, with your pen. I used to write letters a lot. When my parents were away I would mail them off and send stickers and pictures to my little sister as well. The letters to my mom were always in Punjabi because I talk to her in Punjabi so I wanted my communication to be as genuine as it would be in person as if I was speaking to her. Writing a letter itself also takes time to think about how it will flow, you don’t want to make a mistake in a letter because it might be kept forever. Because of this sometimes we might not even send letters- I have a lot of unsent letters. I remember an episode of the comedy Everybody Loves Raymond where the daughter-in-law Debra writes a mean spirited letter to her mother-in-law Marie, telling her to stop interfering in her life, and although they are all happy at the end Marie says she needs to keep the letter for evidence later. Memories fade but letters don’t go away which is why I think it is such a big task to simply write in the first place, to commit something to paper, to know that it is meaningful. The journals people read after someone has died is essentially a letter to oneself, like the diaries of Anne Frank. They are so impactful they change lives. The letters people read that someone has left when they are dying are similarly impactful. I can’t imagine the same impact from an online platform. I think it is worth thinking about the various means of communication and the impact we get from them. Certainly it is a lot more meaningful to visit someone in person and to look into their eyes, to take in the energy of being in the room, to hear their voice, than to text. We are all realizing that now that we are way more isolated because of covid. Oh how we long to see other people, other sangat, to actually physically be in the same space. 

Think about writing a letter, who would you write to, yourself, Guru Ji, someone else? What will you write about?