Hukam

Gurbani tells us, 

As I was thinking about the flow of Hukam in this line of Gurbani, I decided to do a guided ocean painting. 

Divorce

Sikhyourmind posted a very powerful story of a Singh below.

“I was totally blindsided when I was told my marriage was over by my wife. Having just returned from a totally unexpected loss and funeral abroad, I found myself in shock and disbelief. No, there was no compassion or support. I was not given the opportunity to ask any questions. It was over.

As a practicing Sikh and father to young children, I was unable to comprehend the profound feelings of deep loss and shattering of trust, which affected me to my core. I believed the person I was married to was ‘genuine’, but I gradually had to accept and come to terms with the fact that I had experienced ongoing deceit and manipulation. Again, as a man, it was difficult to admit this.

I found myself experiencing a myriad of thoughts and feelings including shame, disbelief, disillusionment and a deep crushing sadness. I had never considered ‘divorce’ to be an option and my moral and ethical perspective as a practising Sikh meant that I simply did not believe in divorce. Although I was aware that many practicing Sikhs had been through divorce, it was something I rejected and I was led to believe that the person I was married to was of the same belief. Clearly, I was wrong.

I was faced with an internal battle and trying to process multiple losses at the time. The things, which once provided security were now meaningless. I lost my children, (so-called) ‘family and friends’, my marriage, my home, material items, which I had worked so hard for and I had to undergo job changes in order to continue to see my children. In addition to this, I was having to prepare for a fierce Court battle due to constantly being denied access to my children. I found myself struggling with all this as well as making sense of how someone could morally demand half of everything when they contributed very little in all aspects including financially. Clearly, I started to understand the discrepancy between our moral and ethical beliefs and values.

I felt a mixture of guilt and shame as I kept telling myself that this is not right for someone who is supposed to be a ‘practicing’ Sikh. I turned to prayer and close family, which provided solace but it didnt address the deep unending feelings of shame.” (end of part 1, start of part 2) 

“One day, whilst narrating the depths of my feelings to a close psychologist friend, she spoke of ‘moral injury’. This was new to me, however, the concept deeply resonated. Moral injury refers to ‘the strong cognitive and emotional response that can occur following events that violate a person's moral or ethical code’.

It finally started to make sense. The idea of divorce was outside the realms of my core beliefs. The idea that a spiritual union could be ‘un-done’ just didn't make sense to me. Similarly, I grew up believing marriage takes place once and for the duration of one's lifetime.

It took self-reflection, prayer as well as conversations with trusted friends and family to finally let go of the pain instrinsically linked to my core beliefs. I came to ‘accept’ all forms of union and separation go hand in hand. Gurbaanee tells us:

ਸੰਜੋਗੁ ਵਿਜੋਗੁ ਮੇਰੈ ਪ੍ਰਭਿ ਕੀਏ ॥

Union and separation were created by my God.

Just because we are tied to someone through marriage, it doesn't mean it will last forever. On a deeper level, our ‘connections’ with people are predetermined and based upon karma and therefore, the duration of these connections can be variable and subject to change. I later discovered I'd been ‘replaced’; that too, by someone in the background.

I feel blessed I'm no longer in a marriage categorised by cohesive control, gas lighting and other unpleasant experiences. My faith and core beliefs prevented me from considering divorce. At the time, I ‘accepted’ it was my fate but clearly, God had a different plan.

Indeed, we are reminded clearly in Gurbaanee:

ਨਾਨਕ ਦਇਆਲੁ ਹੋਆ ਤਿਨ ਊਪਰਿ ਜਿਨ ਗੁਰ ਕਾ ਭਾਣਾ ਮੰਨਿਆ ਭਲਾ ॥

O Nanak, the Lord shows Mercy to those who accept the Guru's Will as good.

So, what's next for me? I'm focusing on self-compassion, acceptance and forgiveness in context of Sikhi. Equally, I've met amazing people on my journey and helped support other men going through marriage difficulties. As a man, it's difficult to speak out about emotional pain but this is so necessary to move forward. Divorce is part and parcel of life itself rather than as a defining feature of ‘me’ as a man, practising Sikh etc. Life moves on and so am I...” 

It was a very brave thing for him to share his story, but also very impactful for other people to hear and learn from. For most of us our parents have committed lifelong to each other no matter what and it is incredibly difficult to wrap your head around the idea that a partner could just leave without explanation and wanting to put in effort to make it work. He is open about sharing his pain from this experience, but also his search for meaning as he never believed in divorce and his wife didn't leave him a chance for closure, so he had to find it on his own. We can feel the betrayal in his story- of being replaced, of a lack of compassion. We also get a sense of relief of not having to spend his life with someone who was deceitful, and whose core values didn't match his, but the pain of having to fight for custody of his children. 

https://www.facebook.com/sikhyourmind 

Chapters 10 and 11

Here we continue the chapter summaries for Bhai Sewa Singh Ji Tarmala’s book, Pantha Prem Na Janaiye. These chapters talk about the roles of Kaal and how to work together as a family.  

Gurbani tells us that Kaal’s responsibilities include providing us things that we need in this world, keeping us entertained, protecting children from dangerous actions, and delivering the drama of this game. Bhai Sahib describes that the mind is like people who carry luggage for passengers (coolie): “He can carry as much as he wants, but eventually the passengers take their luggage and the coolie is left empty-handed” (page 103). He describes how our mind is in the same situation, we can use what is given to us by kaal- our house, money, jobs, food, etc. but in the end these won’t go with us. The trap of kaal is called a net (kaal da jaal) that we must learn to escape via simran. There was an example given that the Sikhs asked Guru Arjan Dev Ji why they are doing simran if they already have reached Sunn? Guru Ji explained that we must continuously do simran to escape this net of Kaal. This chapter also goes on to explain how ego is destroyed by going to Dasam Dwar/Sunn, and the medicine for ego is Amrit Ras (again, distinction that this is not referring to the Amrit ceremony as in baptism, but a physical taste in the mouth). 

 

Kaal creates thoughts within us to make us argue with each other so we will stay busy in the world in these conflicts and not achieve our true purpose.  We will be focused on fighting with each other instead of fighting the 5 dhoots together. They explain that there is a moment when someone’s bad words sit in the empty space. We have a choice about whether to grasp them, or to leave them hanging. Bhai Sahib states “Should we listen to it and analyze it we suffer.” It is important to protect ourselves through the circle of simran and then we can speak to whomever and not be affected because we will be able to connect to the Oneness and see past the game. We must be careful with our own words. Gurbani tells us that “God says, all hearts (creatures and human beings) are mine, and I am in all hearts” (Ang 952), as well as “Do not utter even. a single harsh word; your True Lord and Master abides in all. Do not break anyone’s heart; these are all priceless jewels. The minds of all are like priceless jewels; to harm them is not good at all. If you desire your Beloved, then do not break anyone’s heart” (Ang 1384). If we do simran together, we will not have these conflicts and our thoughts will match. The method of sas gras simran is expanded upon here- the left eye represents the moon. The right eye represents the sun (sajja in Punjabi and sooraj both start with S sound so we can remember this way). There is an imbalance in our noses – the right side represents tamoguni thoughts, the left represents rajoguni. When there is a balance in the eyes through simran it is called sum drisht. When there is a balance in the breathing through simran, we will breathe equally both ways and reach Sunn. In Sas Gras simran, we connect the Wahe- and guru sounds to the breath. There are some great examples online. I will link one below: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O7hFIdsrUkE&t=1502s The speed of the simran can vary. For example this is a slower version: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-sc3cHhyXso&t=2648s First we start out in loud voices, then become quiet to a whisper, then antargat (internally, without speaking). 

 

Bhai Sahib then explains how our relatives were selected. We are selected from different loks- some of us came from patal lok, akash lok, dev lok, and bhoom lok, and this selection is based on our past lives, those we are with know were known to us previously as we saved our breaths together by meditating together. We are supposed to beat this game together but of course everyone comes with their own mind and those from dev lok will be more inclined to do simran and complete their journey as we discussed in the last chapter. Gurbani says “Mother, father, spouse, children, relatives, lovers, friends and siblings meet, having been associated in previous lives; but none of them will be your companion and support in the end” (Ang 700). As much as we have the task to work together and have been brought together from various stages, we must also recognize that we are responsible for our own mind’s journey when the Jum dhoot come to get us and our body’s journey has ended. 

 

Reflection: These chapters really bring forth how we are brought together with certain people in our lives through our sanjog; we come together with certain people over breaths collected through meditation in our past lives. It brings forth the importance of choosing our sangat (especially spouse), and how important that is for our spiritual journey. In fact, a recent katha was talking about how strongly people doing simran around an individual as they are dying can be impactful to where they end up in their next life, and how powerful it is to have a singular family member even who has reached Sunn, to pull other family members out from the generations past and forward, and change their paths.

 

I know the huge importance of being a mother in raising our families. I was looking at a young Sikh boy running around on his driveway as his grandfather watched him. He must have been around 3 yrs old and had a little joorha on top of his head. They were so happy playing together. I thought to the brazen gang violence and murders occurring in the lower mainland, and many of them identify as Sikhs. I think to how a joyful boy playing with his grandfather grows up and chooses a path to walk. Being a parent in kaljug is not easy, and not everything relies just on our own levels of love and discipline. Even Prithi Chand was born to Guru Ram Das Ji, and the story of his marriage and selection of Bibi Bhani is a famous one. Anyone in the family can be pulled by Kaal into creating conflicts. I am reminded of the importance of working on ourselves... of working on my own mind. 

 

When it comes to suffering, we all ask ourselves the question of why. The more we talk to people of all walks of life and hear their stories of suffering as they try to alleviate it by any means possible, the question becomes stronger. I care deeply, so much so that I move worms off the sidewalk and back onto the soil so they can survive. I don’t like seeing them suffering on the pavement, drying out to die. How could this same heart experience so much pain, while it is trying its best to alleviate the suffering of the world, to not be malicious, to be kind and understanding? We realize this even more when we look into people’s eyes who live on the streets and we see how they have ended up where they are. I can see why Maskeen describes the state of the poets, that they are heartbroken seeing the status of the world. How do we live in such a reality and explain and justify to ourselves. When we read Gurbani, we realize the question of why me, is a question of homai, and we see more and more of our avgun, we start to understand that life here is not just a justice of one lifetime, but a story of a mind that travelled many lifetimes. We start to understand the bigger picture. Kaal’s jaal wants you to be stuck in the ins and outs of the past so you never move forward, to be stuck in a cycle of suffering. So many times when we don’t get what we think we wanted, this was God’s protection. When we get fed up with it all, we show up to Guru Ji but once again refuse to let go of the path that got us here, and we do our Ardas in ego. I have noticed this of myself. The solutions to this all were given in Gurbani. This human life was given to us not to be a slave of Kaal, but to be free. We have much healing to be done here, our healing starts within ourselves for our own minds and walking together, we make even more progress. 

Chapter 9

This is a chapter summary of Bhai Sewa Singh Tarmala’s book Pantha Prem Na Janaiye. This chapter was about Devlok, where the angels reside.  

Gurbani tell us that we came from one of the following past lives: life in the sky (ex. birds), life on land, life in the ocean/underground, and angels. Those who have more rajoguni thoughts in their life end up in bhoom lok (land), those who have more satoguni thoughts end up in the sky (akash lok), those who have more tamoguni thoughts end up in the ocean (patal lok). Those who previously were humans and reached the step of being able to hear Anhad Bani but have not yet merged into Waheguru become angels. They have not yet completed their journey. There are 330 million angels that look down upon us, and they describe that some come down into human form and some go up into angel form. Bhai Sahib describes that they cheer us on as we go to Sunn and do our meditation, and this inspires a longing in them for a human life because this is the only lifeform from which we can merge into Waheguru. Yet when we arrive here in this world, all is forgotten, we do not remember what we were in our past life. We get lost into maya. The mind has to be able to hear Anhad Bani, then awaken and use its jot, then merge into the Divine. Bhai Sahib describes the angels that become reborn as humans “They have an inborn anxiety to join the congregation. If they fail to meet the true congregation, they continue to search. They may read Gurbani or Holy scriptures, but cannot fully understand their meaning. These individuals are never satisfied until they reach the Divine Word, known as Naam. When they reach the true congregation, where contemplation and appreciation of Naam is conducted, they gradually attain the stage from which they have come. They do not have to work very hard to get to this stage.” For some people, once they start up their progress in increasing their spiritual avastha is thus very fast because they had reached that before. They came here to complete their journey and as they are reminded of that, they head towards their destination with a passion. 

 

For people who come from bhoom lok, akash lok or patal lok, Bhai Sahib describes that they are reluctant to read Gurbani, join sangat, etc. Those who are from akash lok will read Gurbani, and do satoguni actions like being compassionate, but they cannot progress until they move forth and jap. Regardless of the lok that we came from, we will have the opportunity in this lifetime, all of us do, to be able to merge into Waheguru. We are also needing to remember that we can all fall at any time by letting go of our path and getting trapped by our ego, so we can’t have pride over our path or progress. 

 

Bhai Sahib describes that the mind here can be like a “goblin”, a human, an angel, or a Gurmukh (already merged).  Unfortunately, most of our minds are used to being in a cycle of unhappiness and are cynical. Gurbani calls this “sakhat”, which is translated as faithless cynic. There is no interest in this path, even if one hears about the way to reach Sunn and get peace. People then become physically ill from their mind not having it’s food (amrit). The state of the mind is described that while it is controlled by kaal/maya, our hands are in shackles, our neck is in a noose, and we are hungry. It is described how then the mind and body become ill after this. Bhai Sahib describes that people in this state are easily angry, and misinterpret conversations, they are not following the path of love. When we receive our mind’s food, and break our shackles, we are free. Bhai Sahib describes that in this state, we can leave our thoughts “in the blink of an eye.” This is important, because if conflict is arising from other people, or thoughts are mismatched, then we can break that quickly by going to our home in Sunn. 

My favorite passage from this section: "What is the insignia of the angels dwelling? The unstruck sound current of the Shabad vibrates there" (Ang 974). 

This chapter was really enlightening. I last read this book five years ago when I was starting this path and it has a lot more meaning this time around as I have spent time reflecting on my own state. 

Chapters 6, 7 and 8

In these chapter summaries of Bhai Sewa Singh Ji Tarmala’s book, Pantha Prem Na Janaiye, we will explore further in depth about how our thoughts are recorded. 

Firstly, Bhai Sahib reminds us that the Gurmantar is the tool that we use in order to cross the bhavsagar. It guides us to enter Sunn. Once we have entered Sunn, the Gurmantar leaves, because at that point we cannot use physical language anymore. We listen to Naam (also known as shabad, Anhad Bani, God’s voice) to guide us to using the Jot/vision of our own mind and advancing (just arriving to Sunn is not enough). In the body there is the temple of God (parlok) and temple of kaal (lok) which are both governed by God. When we use the Gurmantar, we must be careful to start off by closing the eyes. This is why you see people with their eyes closed while doing simran, because when you look around you are going to create more thoughts and be distracted. Even when we close our eyes, inside the mind will play tricks to create thoughts. Bhai Sahib tells us the mind might create images, or lights, called Gandharb Nagar/Mirag Trishna, or create dreams. The mind will do anything to prevent itself from going home to Sunn. We must be careful of these distraction techniques and pay attention. 

The Chitrgupt are essentially "moviemakers" that record where our attention (dhyan) is. For example, we can think of the sakhi where Guru Nanak Dev Ji points out that the Quazi himself was not paying attention during the Namaz and was thinking about his horses. The place where our attention sits matters, because it is where our account is taken. Each breath has to be accounted for, and this account is called the Lekha. This Lekha is taken to Dharam Rai, which is a judge, and the Yum (Jums, jumdhoot) are responsible for arresting the mind when the breaths end (we die). If our mind is thinking about tamoguni thoughts, they are recorded as such. Whatever we do is watched over and recorded. We are responsible for accounting for our thoughts. 

When we go to Sunn, the Chitrgupt and Yum cannot go there. We can similarly get a circle of protection even as we work and are doing activities in the world, where the chitrgupt and Jum cannot bother us, by the Gurmantar. If the mind is in jap all the time, this circle of protection will keep them at bay. We are within the Divine command of God, but if we get distracted by maya and step outside of the Gurmantar and stop japping, then the chitrgupt and Jum can get to us. It isn’t like we can’t talk or take thoughts, or work in the world once we walk this path. This life is for enjoying all of God’s creation! There is a reason why we are living our lives as householders. We can fully engage in the world, but there is a method of doing this. We can take rajo, tamo and satoguni thoughts, while within the Divine law. Bhai Sahib reminds us while the mind was the inventor of cell phones and videos so we can connect worldwide, the mind has always had a system of connection that was far more elaborate than this. This method of communicating to other Gurmukhs in Sunn has existed this entire time, and is the method by which Baba Deep Singh and Bhai Mani Singh got the words of the previous Guru Sahibs and Bhagats in order to (re)write the Guru Granth Sahib Ji.  

Bhai Sahib reminds us that Gurbani tells us that as people move away from faith, our wisdom has been cut down to just recognizing our family members, and as we move even further, the thoughts increase and increase to the point we cannot sleep, and our mental health declines; we find ourselves upset, angry, stressed, overwhelmed, and irritable all the time, and can even no longer recognize our family or loved ones as One. Having faith in our Guru and doing the practical aspect of our spiritual practice is actually really important. 

Reflections: These chapters really reminded me of the power of the mind, but also the power of maya, and the fact that God has also put that part of the game into place for us that we will be distracted. I am thinking back to even old posts, and before I knew anything about this game. I definitely did not believe that it was possible to stop thoughts, and I didn’t really understand anything about why we are here. It is so fruitful to expand and learn more, to meet sangat and learn from Gurbani. In fact, the more I’m learning the more I’m learning to let go of my judgement, I am learning to just realize that people are the way they are and doing what they know how to do, they are living life to the extent and knowledge given to them. 

Thus far I think I have just established that I don’t want to be that bandhar (monkey) anymore, the one that has its hand stuck inside the trap and is screaming because it won’t let go. In one of the parts of the book, Bhai Sahib writes “When we waste our breath, the mind is devastated…The mind has the knowledge and Jot but uses it in the wrong way. The mind cries, shouts and begs for salvation, but still it will not leave the five subordinates of Kaal. The mind believes them to be friends and is hopelessly attached to them…. The mind can attain freedom if it opts to do meditation. However, given the choice the mind clings to the five subordinates and continues to cry in pain.” It is clear that we have to find our way out of maya to change our trajectory of reincarnations, and to achieve the purpose we came here for. At some point our suffering in this world becomes so much that we realize there isn’t another path for us, no other direction gives us satisfaction. You realize enough about the world that you cannot undo that knowledge and be merrily immersed in maya, and you haven’t yet stepped forth enough to gain the joy of bliss. When I think back to the pure strength and resilient qualities of the shaheeds in our past, of the Singhs and Singhniya who did amazing things for the panth, their freedom to live by Truth and their strength has come from living in Sunn. It need not be a radical change, or a physical change. The mental change of choosing to walk a different path and spend a few moments even doing the practical aspect of japna, is extremely valuable. As Guru Ji reminds us, it never goes to waste. This too is written into our lekha. 

 

Chapters 4 and 5

In these chapters of Bhai Sewa Singh Tarmala’s book, Pantha Prem Na Janiaye, he explains in more depth about the Bhavsagar. I will write some summaries of these chapters' learnings here.

The Bhavsagar is the terrible world-ocean mentioned in Gurbani. During the day, this is made up of maya in the form of thoughts. For example, thoughts of worldly things like our job, family, desires, hopes, and anxieties are called “rajogun” thoughts. These have the properties of the element air but go on to form the ocean of fire (agan sagar), which is part of the entire bhavsagar. The other types of thoughts are satogun thoughts, which are faith, devotion, forgiveness, compassion, contentment. They are made of the properties of the element water, and go on to form the ocean of peace. The last type of thoughts are tamogun and have the properties of the element fire, including lust, anger, greed, pride, attachment, and duality, and form up the ocean of poison (bikh saagar). These three sagars form the bhavsagar. During the night, the bhavsagar is made from the raw elements of air, water and fire. As the mind goes to sleep and separates from the body, it falls into the bhavsagar and drowns into the waves of fire, water and air. 

The way out of the bhavsagar involves discontinuing thoughts by following the order of the Guru. The daily Nitnem teaches us this method. The Gurmantar, is the word Waheguru which we use to remember God. The "Waheguru" mantr was given to us to use as a method of balancing the air in our body so we can go to our home in 10^th gate/Sunn. (Remember in the last chapters we talked about the importance of pavan/air). There is something called the Sukhmana channel, where the soul enters the body. This channel goes from the gagan, at the top of the head, to the belly button. At the belly button, the “knot” of the material physical being and spiritual being are tied together. This sukhmana channel has small openings in it. When we balance the air in the body using the Gurmantr, the openings open more allowing one to see light (known as Jhilmil) and to hear Naam. Naam (Dhun) is the voice of God. It is also known as Anhad Shabad meaning it is a sound not made by striking objects. To be truly free in this world, we must have our thoughts end because our conflicts start from our thoughts. The Sukhmana, Ida and Pingla will be expanded on in further chapters. 

 

Bhai Sahib reminds us of the importance of this practical aspect of our daily practice. Gurbani tells us the method. If we read Gurbani but do not do our simran, we are not actually going to be able to escape this cycle of reincarnation. It’s like attending the class and listening to the concepts but not doing any of the work for the course. Gurbani will also make a lot more sense if we start to do the practical work alongside the reading. They go hand in hand. 

Reflections after reading these chapters: There are many things in life we look for an explanation for. The mind is try to find a reason because it thinks it can protect itself from pain or hardship again by preventing it if it can find a reason why and so it can get closure. Many times, it seems to just dig itself deeper into more thoughts, trying to understand why people did what they did, or are the way they are. Yet these answers are often not rational and they don’t give our minds relief. There are many answers for us in Gurbani about the status of the world, but even moreso we learn that there is such a large scale of game played that we cannot understand each action as it is played out over the entire Creation that is interconnected over thousands of years. As one Gurmukh explained, the mind is not the age we attribute to it, we say oh this happened to a child, but the mind is not a child, the body attributed to it here was a child. We do not know this mind’s story in all those reincarnations. The more we learn about vastness of the One, we learn to accept Hukam. The task of preventing more hardship is achieved in an entirely different way. 

In Sunday's GPMKC katha, they mentioned that many people think that they shouldn't do simran because people who do simran might be still stuck in the same worldly state and not advance. For example, they are still getting angry, and lashing out at others etc. Their manner has not changed. They mentioned that you must not only jap, but you must also follow Hukam and live in the way the Guru's taught us, by practicing truth, compassion, generosity, etc. The jap also needs to increase- the more we do, the more it changes our way of being, especially in sangat because we jap with others and learn from their nature. Lastly, a Gurmukh once told me it just takes consistent practice for some. For some they have come from past lifetimes having built up their bhagti and they resume from their in this lifetime, meaning to finish their journey now. For others it might take a long time to progress and it requires patience. It is not a race, we have benefits no matter how little we do because it is beneficial for us to save up our breaths so when we are asked for our account by the Jumdhoots at our death, we will have had some breaths dedicated towards Naam Japna. 

Chapter 2 and 3

Here we continue our summaries of Bhai Sewa Singh Ji's book, Pantha Prem Na Janaiye. I combined the chapters two and three as chapter two was quite short.

The mind has come with the fixed number of breaths after which it will separate from this body. This human lifeform is the only lifeform from which we can achieve mukhi and escape the cycle of reincarnation. We have been told the rules of the game and have all been sent with the chance to succeed in this lifetime. Yet many will not follow the rules of the game and have to be reincarnated again and again, going through cycles of suffering. 

Maya is split into formless and formed states. The physical version of maya is everything in the world and our body. The formless state of maya is thoughts. One form of thoughts is tamoguni thoughts, these are “kaam, krodh, lob, moh, hankar” (lust, anger, greed, attachment, pride). These are called the Panj Chor (5 thieves) in Gurbani because they trick us. When we spend our time in thoughts we are using up our precious breaths. Remember we only have a limited number of breaths in this world. We are tricked into wasting away our breaths by these thoughts because Waheguru has tasked Kaal to keep us distracted as part of the game. The Panj Chor steal Amrit. As we discussed in the last post, amrit is a food of the mind given to us when we enter the fourth state of the mind/10^th gate/Sunn/Sehaj Ghar, our home and is physically tasted as a sweet taste by people in this state. Without it our mind is starving and suffering. One of my favorite translations from this chapter was “We work as slaves (of Kaal) and we carry the loads of this world upon our heads (we think, we work for ourselves and don’t take anything to the home of the mind at night.” (SGG Ji Ang 166). Oh how we think that we carry so much burden on our heads of maya, when actually we won’t take anything with us when we die. Whose load is this to carry? It belongs to the Creator who created it. Bhai Sahib reminds us that the suffering mind is often desperate, it begs and cries for help, but it remains attached to the things that lead to its suffering. In Gurbani there is an analogy of a monkey who puts its hand into a narrow-mouthed pot to get food out and its hand gets stuck, leading it to scream for help. It could simply just undo its fist of food and release its hand, but it refuses to let go of the food and gets caught by the hunter who set the trap. Similarly, Bhai Sahib explains that we are the monkey, greedy for maya, and not willing to let go of the Panj Chor, and therefore we get trapped by Kaal and lose the game. We must be willing to let go of this all in order to win the game.   

At night, the body and mind disconnect and the mind goes to its home in Sunn. Gurmukhs, people who follow Hukam, can then meet other Gurmukhs at this time in congregation. Most of us manmukhs either enter dreams, or we otherwise just aren’t able to meet others during this time. (It isn’t mentioned in this chapter but a sleep state is a practice state for death. We read kirtan sohila before we go to sleep just as we read it at a funeral. Here we disconnect from our bodies.)

The mind connects to the body by air, pavan. This entire game of life is based in the breath because remember we have a limited number of breaths. By controlling our breath, we are going to be able to help to control the mind, which has gone wild and out of control over all its incarnations. To make progress, first the mind must sit in the body. Most of us let our mind just wander freely. It is out attached to worldly things like making money, our jobs, even “good thoughts” but thoughts, nonetheless. The mind must learn to be IN the body and connect to its breath in order to learn to become thoughtless and go to Sunn (this is the method of dying while still alive which is mentioned in Gurbani). The way of doing this is by joining sangat, and then learning the way to chant Gurmantr (chanting of a mantr, example in other languages people sing Allah and Ram Ram and we sing Waheguru mantr as a method of remembrance). Bhai Sahib reminds us that the mind constantly tries to find a way to escape and will trick us, in advanced states the Yogis and others have been tricked by getting magical powers which made them use thoughts and once again put them into maya. Finally, those who have won the game and are completely merged into God are able to separate out their body and mind in a different way, like Baba Deep Singh Ji was able to continue to fight while holding their head separated from the rest of their body.   

This chapter has some very important practical points, each part of every chapter has lines from Gurbani to show that this knowledge is all based on the Guru Granth Sahib Ji. This chapter brought up a few things for me on reflection. Firstly that part about being in the body being necessary. I think we often think about the states of Baba Deep Singh and the martyrs in our history, because their minds had been in Sunn and transcended the connection to the physical tortures and I always thought this sort of meant you needed to ignore the body to succeed. Yet the start is that our mind escapes constantly and that we need to simply just get it into the body and the breath in the first place. My first work on breath probably came at the time I started to do sas gras simran in 2016, yet I think I never really understood how much my mind was outside of my body until this last year. The start of connecting to my body, and understanding how much it was storing was a shock to me and I have taken that step by step with breath as a main action. I think it is important to recognize how hard it can actually be to be in the body. This is probably why so many people use mindfulness, yoga, tai chi, etc. because these are breath methods to get us grounded back into our body. We have our own way of doing this in Sikhi. 

I think the other piece that really stood out to me was that the method of dying while still alive is this way of being in congregation, japping naam, and working on getting to Sunn. It is about letting go of our attachment to the 5 chor, and our thoughts and everything we have and are in this world. I feel like so many times we as Sikhs these days, our youth and maybe even other generations have a different idea of bravery and death. It is easy to just say we are willing to sacrifice our lives, if you have no value on your life or the precious breaths you have and the purpose you are wasting away. That isn’t bravery. To give up the mind, to give up your ego, and let go of all these identities you have intrenched into yourself is the harder thing to do. The words sant-sapahi are attached to each other for a reason. It amazes me how people are willing to go to great lengths for the Sikh community, or for themselves but still are unwilling to work on the mind when that was the whole purpose of our life here according to Guru Ji. The game is to be played with the mind itself. It really is the hardest battle you will ever have to fight, yet some people are just unwilling to even give it a chance. The other unfortunate part is a lot of us didn’t even remember this was the game, we didn’t take out the time to read our Gurbani to learn about the game, we didn’t look past the rote reading of Japji sahib to delve into what it is telling us about how the world was created, and how to live my life today, how we didn’t invest into learning from our Guru. The whole concept of Sikhi is to learn from our Guru, so we have to learn beyond just the superficial of being a good person, and into the depths of how we actually can truly live to our fullest. If you want to be like Bhai Taru Singh then sing shabads like them, then read Gurbani with passion, and love. Ask in your Ardas to be taken on this path, to get Naam, and to meet those in sangat/congregation who will travel with you “Koi Ave Santo, Har Ka Jan Santo, Mere Preetam Jan Santo, Mohi Marag Dhiklave.”

Chapter 1

I’ve decided to summarize the book Pantha Prem Na Janae (forgetting the way of love) by Bhai Sewa Singh Tarmala, chapter by chapter. I think if we can learn to explain things to others then we also develop a better understanding of it ourselves. I’m going to assume you might not have read other past similar posts and just start from the beginning.

In Chapter 1, the game of life is summarized. When we are born into this world, we become separated from Truth (Waheguru). The 9 bodily doors open (9 physical openings of the body) and the 10^th (spiritual gate) closes. The mind enters the game of life. Maya is an illusion. Maya is made up of thoughts, and everything worldly. God has put this realm, Maya, under the supervision of a servant named Kaal, which is mentioned in Gurbani many times. Kaal has been given the direction (hukam) by God to keep the mind busy in this world- busy in thoughts, in collecting money, in our jobs, in thinking this body is ours, in forgetting the Truth. The game is in realizing God despite this. While the mind is under Kaal’s direction it suffers in pain. This suffering is described really well in the Bhagat Bani, especially the shabads of Bhagat Farid. In fact, as I am reminded of working in this burning world during Kaljug, I often say to people "I can see that you are suffering." It reminds me of that commonality that human beings have and makes people feel seen and validated. Even Bhagat Farid and Kabir, who go on to become enlightened, were in a state of this suffering at some point and wrote about it in the Guru Granth Sahib Ji so we can understand that it was written into our journey and we are not alone to feel in that state! Some people live in Kaal their whole lives without knowing the game of life, and their minds are reincarnated again. The veil of doubt (Param Da Parda) keeps us separated. In the separated state, the mind thinks it is awake, but it is actually asleep all the time. To be awake means that you must know none of this maya world is yours, hence why maya is called an illusion. We become attached to our identities as relatives of someone, as the partner of our loved one, as our job roles, as having this body, or this location or house, but that is all part of the illusion. The reality is that the mind doesn’t carry these things from one incarnation to the next, so it doesn’t belong to us. 

 

To merge into God and end suffering, the mind must cross the terrible ocean, bhavsagar. The bhavsagar is made up of three smaller oceans, Sukh sagar (ocean of peace), Agan sagar (ocean of fire) and Bikh Sagar (ocean of poison). The method of crossing and details of these oceans will be discussed further. The method of crossing is by using the Gurmantar/Shabad. It is by Guru’s guidance and support that we cross.

 

Where do we cross to? Our destination is our true home. This is called Thir ghar, Nij Mahal, Sehaj Ghar, Chautha Padh (4^th state), and Dasma Dwar (10^th gate) amongst other names in Gurbani. This “home” means that the mind has merged and united fully into Waheguru. It is free of maya, free of suffering, free of enmity and fear, and living in bliss (Anand). In this state the mind is awake to its reality 24/7. Here there is Anhad Bani (Naam) playing, which is the sound of the voice of God. It is playing for all of us right now- yes, even you while you are reading this have Anhad Bani playing in the background. We must learn how to quiet down the mind to be able to hear it. In the Dasam Dwar, the mind receives Amrit (Naam Ras). This is the not the physical amrit ceremony of the 5 Pyare with the 5 Kakkars. This journey after all, is not just for Sikhs but for the whole world. Amrit is the true food of the mind, it is a sweet taste in the mouth that comes when people get closer to this state. There are a series of stages of listening to Anhad Bani, tasting Amrit Ras and seeing Jot Prakash (seeing the light of God) that come as we get closer to this state. In this 10^th gate state, we will get Amrit Ras and Anhad Bani all the time. There is no more reincarnation because we will have achieved our purpose. Our Guru Jis were all living in this enlightened state. One of the most interesting shabads in this chapter was “One who is coming (to the house of the mind) is said to be going, one who is gone (entering the world from the house of the mind) is said to have come.” This means when a baby enters this world it is said to have entered the world, but it is actually entering the game of Maya. When someone dies we say they are gone, but they have actually just come home and ended their reincarnation. 

This chapter also brings up something else that is important. When we go to ask for things from our Guru Ji, we should ask for things like Naam, because if we are asking for things in maya, we are asking from Kaal. We must leave our thoughts aside, maya aside, and follow Guru Ji’s Hukam. That is the only way we can actually leave this ego aside. 

Daily

I once asked an elderly Gurmukh, “Naani Ji, why didn’t I just become a kirtani?” I explained that while I love what I do with a passion, if I had been a kirtani, I would have automatically had sangat, I would have had all the time in the world to sing shabads and live fully immersed in Naam. I explained the difficulty in having to fight to walk the worldly path at the same time, that despite my deep desire and longing, the balance was evasive. She told me “Beta, you have given yourself the answer right there.” She explained I am making the effort because I have to. Would I have made the effort at all if I didn’t have to? I might have made no effort, kirtan may have become a monetary action rather than a deep passion of mine now. She reminded me that this question, of why, was a question of ego, I have been written to be what I am because this is my sewa and it has fit me just perfectly, this is how I am meant to find my path. Each part of our journey is written so that we can have our merger, it is written to remind us of how we get there. 

Then I remembered a couple weeks ago there was a question asked during one of the Sunday Kathas done by PMKC Canada, by Bhenji Sukhwinder Kaur and her husband. Bhenji posed the question to the sangat, why is it that some people do simran and paath and they still suffer. Gurbani promises us that our Rog will be gone, that our Dukh will be taken away. Why do those people continue to be dukhi in their minds? Then they explained, that actually the reason for this is that the moment we let go of our simran we enter back into maya and there we have let go of Naam and we once again experience that dukh. (Now this is a different question than why do sants still get ill etc. and 'why dont things go my way'- we have covered this in a different blog post). Kaal wraps us up all over again and there we live in maya. 

These two answers together remind us of something important. Gurbani tells us without a doubt what the path is, what the messenger of death brings, what the consequences are of our life decisions, of our daily path, of where we are. It is within our daily lives that we will find the answers. The famous Shaheeds from our history found their path while they were facing severe adversity. While they were facing the torture of their children, while they were being hunted down in the jungles, with a price on their heads, they were also finding God in this time. It is not despite their adversity, but perhaps directly because of it. Otherwise who cares to overcome anything. If we are raazi khushi, just enjoying our time here, what need would there ever be to realize our merger? The Guru Ji's told us not to become a Yogi on the mountain tops and leave the world burning. We typically each that this means that we have a responsibility for a householder life, to our families, and to the world that is burning in Kaljug. In response, we start organizations and we volunteer and we work hard. I think it also speaks to the path of overcoming kaal. It is hard to overcome maya if you simply run from it. The practice comes from daily living in our challenging circumstances and just continuing on again and again. 

I think there is value in getting away to be in nature too, because we might be able to recognize God and meditate on the fact that there is nature and You are around us. I find great peace in sitting near lakes, waterfalls, and walking in the grass. Here we might hear the Anhad Bani very loudly too. This whole world is You, we can meditate on you everywhere. There is a difference in using this to feel like we can only find God out there, and not in our daily lives. There is value in going away for camps, in escaping the monotony of our lives and find an adventure to awaken us to our paths, but there is also value in realizing that daily we have this opportunity to face our adversities and find Anand no matter where we are and what we do. Bhagat Sadhna was a butcher, and Namdev dyed clothing. They found God in their daily work. Connection might look like listening to a katha, or some Dhaadhi vaaran, or kirtan, or reading paath as a family, that might look like doing a roll at Akhand Paath, doing Rom Rom or Sas Gras simran, of reading Gurbani translations, of reading Sikhi related articles and books, and having conversations with others to expand your knowledge about this path. It might just even be working with purpose and as a sewa and doing that tirelessly and fiercely. It might mean late night studying, rubbing your Dhadha Ji's feet, or raising your children. Whatever it is, the one thing I know is that the path isn't found with ease, the struggle is actually an essential part of the path itself initially.  It will be there until we reach a different avastha. 

Vin Tudh Hor Ji Mangna, Sir Dukha Ke Dukh

I went to matha tek yesterday for the first time in what feels like forever, but has been somewhere between 8 months and a year. I had a pang of pain at not being able to attend Sunday kirtan Darbars and get to sing in the sangat, in the presence of Guru Granth Sahib Ji, to be able to experience Rainshbhais, and Vaisakhi. 

While I was on my way, I remembered this shabad all of a sudden, as above. "To ask for any other than You, Lord, is the most miserable of miseries. Please bless me with your Naam and make me content, may the hunger of my mind be satisfied. The Guru has made the woods and meadows green again, O Nanak, is it any wonder that He blesses human beings as well?" I think it reads easier actually in the original Gurmukhi than in English, but it grasps the concept that when we do our Ardas we should be asking for Naam. Anything else we ask for ends up being a dukh in the end because it is an ask in the world of maya and maya gives us dukh, but if we have Naam, we have everything. I talked to a Gurmukh recently who reminded me that no matter what, if we walk and continue to walk then everything we do is in the direction of receiving that Naam. It might not feel like it and we might wonder about it, but everything all put together is actually meant by God to guide us in that direction. When we wonder why this happened to me, she told me we are asking that in ego, as if we know better than God for ourselves but she reminded me of this shabad in Asa: "If a beggar cries out at the door, the Master hears it in His Mansion. Whether He receives him or pushes him away, it is the Gift of the Lord's greatness." She reminded me that in both circumstances, we were touched by God, it doesn't matter if we are allowed in or pushed away in this metaphor. It is on Ang 349. 

As the world is burning in Kaljug, we have to remember the words of our Guru's shabad to carry us forth to a direction.